Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
