It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
