i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
