He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
