I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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