So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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