YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
