ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
