So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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