...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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