Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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