Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
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Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
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He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We're too hungover to prance.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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