I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The adults are the big ones right?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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