I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
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you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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