she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
