Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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