By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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