nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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