I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize