I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize