don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize