is your mom at the bar?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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