WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
