he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
