do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
