Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
wow bdsm is so cute
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