remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
