Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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