Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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