I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
