Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
