I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
