Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
