did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
if only i could text you this smell
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
