He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
