We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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