I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i out mim tonsoeep
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