accomplished twins. life is a go
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
