...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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