He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
