You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
false alarm, still single
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
