is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
