jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize