are you still at the devil's house?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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