Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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