Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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