you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
