i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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