i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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