I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
