so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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