the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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