it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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