He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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