I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
