The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
