just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
