just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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