Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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