that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
